"Are you having triplets?"

7:01 PM, Feb 8, 2010   |    comments
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Even as I write this, I'm preparing a defense. A defense not for myself, mind you, but for the silly man who actually uttered those words... those really bad, probably-should-avoid, borderline offensive... words.  More on those exact words in just a second.

But first, remember a while back, I mentioned my cousin Heidi's brilliant book idea? Heidi thinks people would benefit from a "conversational etiquette" book. A book that would assist the more confused - or simply clueless - among us, such that they may avoid offending people in simple, everyday conversation. I still think the book would sell millions and become a New York Times bestseller. And now, I have even more proof.

O.K., as you know - if you've read my blog - I'm pregnant. And, as you know - if you watch us at KARE 11 - I'm also still rigorously working, even as I'm growing... bigger and bigger all the time.

So a week or so ago, I was reporting on Twins Fest, that annual opportunity to get revved up about the Minnesota Twins. Only, my angle this year was how important it was to focus on the Twins after a disappointing end of the Vikings season.

At one point, I came across a middle-aged man, I'm going to guess maybe 50, perhaps 60, years old? Anyway, a man who's old enough to know better. Yet apparently, he didn't...  So here goes... I'll take you back to the exact exchange:

So this man, (let's just call him Frank -- because Frankly, he needs to get a clue), Frank comes up to me and asks, "are you going to make it?" I look at him quizzically, assuming he's referring to my deadline and so, as I'm formulating my response to that question, he interrupts and says... "well, when are you due?" I then realize the well-meaning man is referring to my pregnancy and apparently the urgent need to find an emergency room, or at least some rags and hot water. So I respond to dear Frank with just one word: "May."

And that's when he said it... that's when he said what would make other people shudder if they witnessed it... that's when he said... "May? Are you having triplets?"

I'm not kidding friends, I'm not kidding. Now mind you, I am NOT angry with this man, I'm not even really that offended by him... in fact, I'm kind of amused by his bold demeanor. But do I think his words were tactful or appropriate? No, not so much. In fact, I believe "Frank" may need a little direction. Truth is, he should know - everyone should know - that you just do NOT ask a pregnant woman whether she's having triplets. You just. Don't. Because - chances are - she isn't (I tell you now, friends, I am truly carrying only one. I promise. I would tell you. Really. I would). Fact is - women just carry differently, and some of us are just "lucky" enough to carry really big... and really obviously.

So perhaps my cousin's first chapter is already taken care of... because there's no end to zany things people will say to women who are pregnant. No end at all. And while having a baby is cause for celebration - and even welcomed public attention - we all need to use the filter every now and then... if not for the sake of conversational etiquette, maybe for the more sensitive mom among us. Now, if only I could pull "Frank" aside and let him know... because, although it was ok to say that to me, I worry about the next woman he might utter those words to - someone who's perhaps less comfortable with her expanding shape.

And writing of that "expanding shape," I did want to let all of you know, that after some consideration, I've decided to participate in the Twin Cities Moms Like Me website. The website is actually owned and operated by KARE, and it connects - as the title would suggest - local moms and dads and those who support them. My friends and family will probably outright giggle at my participation - I am not known for being a domestic guru (I only recently learned how to fry an egg). But I figured that as I begin this new exciting chapter of my life, I'd like to share it with others. More importantly, I'd like to learn from others and what they've discovered from their own experiences. So please check out my little entries, discussion groups and "what have you" at www.momslikeme.com - and please feel free to chime in!

On that note, I'm signing off. Take care everyone and be safe on those slippery roads! And in the words of Mike Wallace, "do well and do good."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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